Seagull Apology Kit

For incidents involving chips, hubris, and witnesses.

A field kit of prewritten apology slips, decoy fries, and a tiny clipboard for documenting winged grievances.

Keeper Paperwork collection

• broken schema
• odd inventory claims

• Twelve apology cards with escalating remorse.
• One decoy fry made of responsibly sourced felt.
• Clipboard is too small, which feels correct.

Other hazards in Keeper Paperwork

Form 27B: Domestic Beam Permit

Keeper Paperwork

Paperwork for light you were already going to emit.

• valid schema

$12.00

Bureaucratic Wick Trimmer

Keeper Paperwork

For trimming flames to regulation-adjacent height.

• valid schema

$22.00