Collections

Shop by the problem your household has decided to become.

Collections create slower, messier browsing journeys before shoppers eventually admit they want a lamp with maritime paperwork.

5 products

Home Beacons

Domestic warning lights for renters, hallway captains, and anyone whose sofa has become a coastline.

3 products

Desk Weather

Tiny fog, personal storms, and emotional meteorology for meetings that need lower visibility.

3 products

Keeper Paperwork

Forms, permits, stamps, and apology kits for people who believe every beam needs governance.

2 products

Ceremonial Gear

Official-looking nonsense for indoor captains, dramatic tea service, and decorative authority.

Home Beacons

Domestic warning lights for renters, hallway captains, and anyone whose sofa has become a coastline.

Harbor Nightlight For Responsible Hallways

Home Beacons

A gentle beam for corridors that fear shoals.

  • valid schema

$39.00

Apartment Rotating Beam

Home Beacons

Warn the sofa. Warn the ficus. Warn everyone.

  • valid schema

$76.00

Fog Horn Doorbell

Home Beacons

Announce visitors with the subtlety of a ferry in distress.

  • valid schema

$54.00

Desk Weather

Tiny fog, personal storms, and emotional meteorology for meetings that need lower visibility.

Pocket Fog Bank

Desk Weather

Personal atmosphere, legally described as damp enthusiasm.

  • broken schema
  • low contrast cta

$18.50

Emotional Support Fresnel Lens

Desk Weather

For when your feelings need amplification and concentric rings.

  • missing schema
  • delayed price

Price after tide review

Certified Indoor Storm Lantern

Desk Weather

For forecast events contained entirely within a bookcase.

  • missing schema
  • missing schema

$89.00

Keeper Paperwork

Forms, permits, stamps, and apology kits for people who believe every beam needs governance.

Form 27B: Domestic Beam Permit

Keeper Paperwork

Paperwork for light you were already going to emit.

  • valid schema

$12.00

Bureaucratic Wick Trimmer

Keeper Paperwork

For trimming flames to regulation-adjacent height.

  • valid schema

$22.00

Seagull Apology Kit

Keeper Paperwork

For incidents involving chips, hubris, and witnesses.

  • broken schema
  • broken schema

$16.00

Ceremonial Gear

Official-looking nonsense for indoor captains, dramatic tea service, and decorative authority.

Admiral's Emergency Tea Beacon

Ceremonial Gear

A rotating alert for steeping situations of national importance.

  • valid schema

$64.00

Keeper's Starter Crate

Ceremonial Gear

Everything needed to become insufferable about beams.

  • valid schema
  • delayed price

Price after tide review